Sunday, August 18, 2013

Oh The Places You'll Go!

Dear Allie,

First Stop... Kindergarten.....

Today is your day.

You're off to Great Places!

You're off and away!

(Dr. Seuss)

I'm not sure why I blinked, but I did and now you are getting your last night of sleep before entering your school years.  It seems like it was only yesterday that my doctor was telling me you were going to be born early and I was so afraid. I literally cried the night before you were born because I just wasn't ready yet. Your Daddy asked me why I was sad.. he was so excited to meet you. I was, too, but I told him I had loved having you with me all of the time. Everywhere I went.. you were there... I talked to you all the time (not a surprise to you now, I'm sure).  I liked knowing you were with me. I didn't have to worry or leave you anywhere.   I just didn't want that to end and I wanted you to grow bigger and stronger before you were born. But, the doctor knew best and she told me it was time for you to be born (you were 6 weeks early).  I was so afraid before you were born... what kind of mother would I be? What would you be like? What if I didn't know how to take care of you? What if you weren't big enough? What if... what if... what if.... but, the night you were born (6:34pm) my fears suddently changed. I knew you would be fine. I knew we would do wonderful things together. I knew you had to go to the NICU and I trusted in God to take care of you. He did. He brought you the best nurses and the best doctors. I was so sad to be in a room without you, but I seemed to know that you would be okay.  It was hard not being with you all of the time, but I somehow knew you would be okay and that made things so much easier. Oh, I worried... don't misunderstand me. The day I first learned I was going to be your Mother I immediately worried about everything about you. But, you always assured me you would be fine. The first time I saw you after they took you to the NICU, you turned your head and opened your eyes when I spoke to you. This was the first time you basically told me you would be okay and together we would be a great team.

You started "school" at 6 months old. Okay, it was daycare, but I always called it school because you were always learning and growing. You've constantly proved your nickname of Amazing Allie. You amaze everyone... not just me and your Daddy... everyone.. people that really don't even know us, they just know you.  You are so smart and so diligent and so determined to learn and do things. And, at 5 1/2 you are so determined to be independent. Which, I remind myself will be something I'm thankful for when you are older.  Sometimes, at 5 1/2 years old it is hard for a Mommy to work with a very independent girl. :-)  You are amazing to me, though. The way you out-wit me and reorganize the events to meet your personal goal is hilarious.  It is clear you have it all figured out and I'm just along for the ride.  I've never been more in love and more motivated to be a better person than I am since meeting you.  I want to give you all I can give you and then give you more.

Tomorrow starts a new phase of your life. You will be in Kindergarten.  Pre-school was hard for Mommy. You were learning new things and I couldn't come visit you much. Now, in Kindergarten it will be even more strict. It is your time to learn and grow without me and Daddy stopping in to give you (and get from you) hugs.  It is time for us to wait as you come out of school and hope you can tell us about your day.  It is time for us to start hoping you will practice all those things we teach you. But, more importantly it is your time. Time for you to learn and grow with new friends and new teachers. 

Oh, yes, Mommy is scared (and so is Daddy!).  I bet you didn't know Mommy's and Daddy's can get scared did you? We get terrified. You aren't always able to express yourself like you'd like yet. Sometimes it frustrates you. But, Daddy and I can usually understand what you want. Your pre-school teachers could, too. They had all known you since you were 6 months old, after all. They grew with you. They watched you grow. Your friends helped teach you to crawl and stand and to communicate. They understood you and loved you for who you are. Now, you will be in a school where no one has ever known "Amazing Allie" before and it terrifies me. But, because you have constantly amazed and surprised me, I know that I really don't have to worry. I know you will be "running" that school in a matter of weeks (probably days if I was to place a bet). I know your teachers will learn the "Allie-Lingo" and you will probably start some wonderful long-term friendships. I pray that God has the right friends in your classroom with even more amazing parents like those that we have known for the past 5 years.  I pray these friends inspire you like your other friends. They encourage you to try harder, speak clearer and continue to be your own person.  I pray they are patient with you and you with them.  There is no one like you, Allie. Not one person just like you. I thank God every day for that.  It would be so boring if we were all alike. 

You will be amazing your teachers with your abilities and you will be sharing the love and hugs in a way only you know how to do. I am so proud of you, Allie. I will always worry about you - that is part of a job of being a Mommy. But, because I know you... I know I really don't have to worry about you. You will make friends wherever you go. You will continue to learn because that is what drives you.  I will worry about the rest of the world. That is also my job. I will fight for equality and fairness for you. But, I must admit... based on our experience these past 5 1/2 years all I have to do is introduce you and you make every one's world a brighter place.

I wish you for a very happy Kindergarten year. I think you will do wonderfully with your new teachers, Mrs. Colburn and Mrs Harper and Ms Loyd.  They are so excited you are going to be in their classroom.  I will worry, I will fret, but I also know there isn't a need to do so. You will do great! I am so proud of you, Allie.  I am your biggest fan.

And will you succeed?

Yes! You will, indeed!

(98 3/4 percent guaranteed.) 

I love you,

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